Last year, my daughter’s report card was brought to my table and I hurriedly perused it hoping to see a position. Alas! There was none. After a conscientious inquiry from the school, I was told she was 2nd in class. The first thing that came from my mouth was; “the person that came 1st in class does not have two heads”. The Catholic sister looked at me with amazement pointing out to me that this was her first term in the school and she did extremely well considering the contexts. I brushed her statement off promising a better grade next term.
A sense of deja vu this term around and the Catholic sister refused to tell me the position pointing out to me that my daughter made a 2% improvement in grade from 82% to 84%. I did all my best to get it out of her but she was extremely adamant. Okay, I felt bad about the whole shenanigans and I realized what the Catholic sister was trying to tell me without being rude: I was teaching my daughter a vile and dangerous value that could damage her future happiness – her success in life depends on the apparent failure of others.
No matter how ignorant I was about this vice, it was completely opposite to the kingdom values that I believed in. I should know better because according to the bible, the first “murder” on earth took place under the same circumstance. Cain was bitter about Abel’s success and he killed him. God’s warning to Cain was unequivocal; “If you did well, you would be accepted”. Cain’s acceptance was not premise on Abel’s but was based purely on his performance. God did not have any qualms about accepting both Cain and Abel’s offering but Cain believes that in order to be accepted, Abel’s offering must not be as good as his.
This is the foundation of most people’s sorrow; Shade is sad because her younger sister is married despite the fact that she has no interest in marriage at the said time. Yomi has always wanted to be a teacher and now a lecturer with a private university but he is jealous of Ade because he works with an oil company. The Abibu family just bought a Hummer and every family in the estate treats them differently. The example continues and it is made worse when our major source of excitement and entertainment premises on win/lose perspective – European Championship, FIFA World Cup, Big Brother Africa, The X Factor, etc
Can you seriously be happy if nobody knows you travelled to London for the holidays? Is the choice of the car you buy, depend on fueling the need to appear important? Why do we care so much about what people think as oppose to what is good for us? These are valid questions that must be raised if one is to dispel the competitive “put down” spirit that exist is our sin nature. The consequences of indulging in this type of behavior is well articulated in Genesis 4: 7 (NIV):
“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, at sin is crouching your door; it desires to have you but you must master it”
On a final note, I would have to apologize to my daughter and let her know that daddy is not interested in her being the first in class but I am interested in her excelling in all her classwork. She should concentrate on understanding all her coursework and not use competition a crouch to achieving her goals. This same philosophy I have decided to apply in all my endeavors – striving for excellence not exceling others….
