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Ok, this is the continuation of last week post (The Reason People Don’t Succeed) where I dwelt on the importance of belief and how vital it was to succeeding. I actually drew my inspiration from Mark 9 about the story of a boy who could not be healed by the disciples of Jesus. The disciples later found out that despite their initial passion to heal the boy, they failed because they needed a different strategy from what they were used to. I pointed to the fact that their inability to find out what this winning strategy was is a reflection of their belief system. Pure belief would find the right way no matter the consistent failure, pressure and overwhelming circumstance(s).

BUT (yes a big BUT); supposing you cannot attain the pure belief state due to ingrained habitual experience like a lady who witnessed firsthand her father’s consistent cheating on her mom, her elder brothers deception of females and her three former boyfriends cheating on her. No matter how angelic the brother that approaches her for marriage is, she would never believe that he would not cheat on her. She would definitely marry him out of strong emotional feelings but she would never trust him. She has come to believe that he would eventually cheat on her when the opportunity arises (no matter how nice he initially was) like when she gets pregnant or when they are apart for business purpose.

She has developed a chronic belief that ALL MEN HAVE INFIDELITY ISSUE. She did not just come to this position by a single aha moment, she has developed this position over years of watching her mother, her brothers’ girlfriends, her sisters and herself of going through the excruciating pain of betrayal. This kind of lady would find it almost impossible to reach the state of pure belief that some men are real in keeping their covenant. This was the position of the father of the boy with the dumb spirit; he has taken his son to all the physicians, to exorcists, to sorcerers, to the priests, etc with continuous disappointment so when Jesus asked him to believe; he was simply honest with his reply; “I want to believe strongly but years of experience has taught me not to”.

This man actually showed us another way we can achieve result despite our unbelief. Jesus said; “all things are possible to them that believe” but did not say; “all things are impossible to them that doubt”. It is important we keep this latter statement in context: The passage tells us that if you recognize and acknowledge your FEAR and ask God to aid you overcome the fear towards your desired goal, it is inevitably that you would succeed but most times we simply go into a state called SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF. We doubt the very goal we crave for but we move ahead anyway – suspending our doubts until we see results. When results don’t come favorably, we re-enforce the doubt; creating a continuous cycle of failure.

This is what happens to humans who are expected to be influencers but choose to congeal in the activity of social gatherings and perpetual world views. We are called to influence our immediate environ but we fail at this bitterly choosing to cast blames on external influence. Our success is limited because we are a product of “suspension of disbelief”; we do not know who we really are and what we really want. We carry on everyday with two versions of ourselves; the identity we walk around with which I would call the shell identity e.g. I am a banker; I work for XYZ Company; I drive a Honda SUV, etc and the identity we truly want to be which I would call the core identity e.g. I want to be an entrepreneur; I am suppose to be acting; I want to travel the world.

Of course, if you want to influence your environ, you are expected to carry on your core identity but it is most of the times held captive by Circumstances and lack of Knowledge. I would have loved to expatiate on what our core identity is but we all intuitively (subconscious) know what we crave for while we please the world with what the world craves for. Core Identity can also easily be revealed with the company of people that you really feel at peace with because we subconsciously communicate with the subconscious of these people. Your subconscious can truly indicate your core identity e.g. with the kinds of friends you are attracted to and fortunately you cannot control but you could guide it. With proper guidance, your subconscious would create a new core identity for you and this identity is what would speak to the world on a core level. When we identify and are in congruent with “who” we truly are, then core influence occurs.

One of the recent surprises I got from trying out the core influence was the sales of the Car Vacuum Cleaner; as I saw the cartons being lifted to the warehouse, I told myself that I was not going to profit alone from this; I was going to involve as much people as I can in this largesse: This is congruent with my core value of empowering people and the result was astronomical; I have never sold so fast and so well. Though, the front end guys were profiting more than I was, I was happy that people were doubling their investment and they could look back and be glad they associated with me. The peace and happiness I got from selling this car vacuum cleaner cannot be compared with trying to sell it on my own and pocketing the whole profit. It was not as if my belief was pure on the product (I certainly had doubts about its market reception in Nigeria) but I did not suspend disbelief either instead I leaned on my core value through God.

How can we then identify our core leanings; well, our deepest real desire gives clues to our core identity

1. Why do you want more money?
2. Why do you want more influence?
3. Why do you want to contribute more

In answering these questions, you have to be cautious because your brain would lie to you: It gives surface level desire – a car, a house. The truth is all you want is to create and perpetuate experience – I dare say goals are meaningless in this context. We lie to ourselves, we want an SUV but the truth is we want to be like XY that bought an SUV. When we finally get the SUV, we realize we are not as cool as we thought we would be. What we truly desire is the significance. We want the experience. You are suppose to show how significant you are by having all these toys – house, SUV, etc.  I realize this kind of lifestyle is totally miserable. The most meaningless thing in this world is to strive for a goal and realize it is meaningless, EMPTY and just an ILLUSION.

When you communicate from your core place, you are centered, stable and focused. This total clarity magnetically attracts “matches” and causes you to be exponentially more persuasive. Matches are individuals who lean towards your dream. Your beliefs are reflected in your life – When money is the end result of the business/career you venture in: You build wrong businesses because you attract wrong customers and this subconsciously sabotages money making opportunity. You make money to buy things; you start worrying about the things and live in a constant state of anxiety. We really don’t want stuffs; we want the experience like for example entrepreneurs are not too interested in money but the freedom. Everyone wants a new life experience not the physical stuff.

So the big question that can set you off to discovering your core identity is: if there is NO Limitation or NO Consequence, what would your life be like?

REMEMBER: The Shell identity is motivated by things, goal driven, and status driven; get the money; Get the Money; GET THE MONEY. The Core Identity is to live normal society. Get paid to have fun and contribute to others by doing that. When you take on your core identity, it would be easier to bring forward your disbelief……..