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April 5, 2008

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS

Present Location: Majestic Hotel, Guangzhou, China. I have never considered Will Smith as a serious actor during the era of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and his debutant into action movies like Bad Boys also confirmed my thought but after watching Ali, I had to stand up on my 10 toes and gave him my total respect. I have learnt through Will Smith that anybody can be anything if they put their heart into it. I have now placed him in the category of excellent actors like Jack Nicholson, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington, Hugh Grant, Robert De Nero and our own Ramsey Noah. Ever since my “Ali” experience, I have been totally blown by his aftermath performance. His performance as Chris Gardner in “The Pursuit of Happyness” is such a hit that I find myself watching it over and over again. If you have not watched this film and you are someone who is serious about taking his/her destiny into his/her hand, then I will encourage you to watch it. You can read the plot synopsis by clicking HERE. 

 

 

 

After spending some time in China, I decided to visit the African joint in Guangzhou popularly called “Sou Beyou”. I sat down in a round table with some couple of Nigerians and a discussion came up: “China has all the potential to be the next world super power, but what is really stopping them?” Everybody spoke their minds on what they felt was wrong with China and I summarized all their suggestions to the culture; I told them that despite the technological and economic metrics in gauging a super power, we have to look at the culture. Culture plays a big role in any type of advancement; the American Culture has been influenced on almost all nations in the world including China through their films, fashion and basic lifestyle. There is nowhere in the world that I have been to that the American culture has no influence; almost every nation is drawn to the American Culture. I remember my first day in China and I saw McDonalds, Star Bucks, KFC and Wall Mart spread around every nook and corner, I knew it was just a matter of time before China embraces democracy. 90% of the films shown in China are American though they have a voice over interpretation in Mandarin. Despite the strong economical and technological advancement of China, it would be difficult to knock America off its position of the world’s super power because Americans influence the way we live. It is the influencer that leads not the political or economic giants. 

 

 

 The concluding paragraph above is meant to show us where we get our basic influence from. Most of our paradigms (perspectives) are American based; we believe we have to reach a particular position to obtain happiness just like the film “The Pursuit of Happyness” tries to succinctly describe. The film exercised its genius of bringing out our deep rooted emotions and puts us in a position of familiarity when we try to reach for our goals. Have you ever tried reaching for a goal and believe that at the culmination of the project, you would be very happy only to discover that on reaching the goal, you needed another goal to be happy. This is a strange paradigm and I have been wondering where we get it from. Paradigms are so strong that we interpret them as the truth; we premise on them as the basis of argument and we are ready to defend them with all our hearts. I believe it comes from the birth root; if we are born and we are given a green glass to wear till we mature to the age of thirty and a white piece of paper is shown to us; we would interpret the white piece of paper as green but if someone tells us the white piece of paper is white, we would be ready to marshal our points on why it is green. This definitely points us to the fact that most of what we believe may not be true especially the ones we borrow from our childhood. 

 

 

 

This leads me to the main point of this article; can we pursue happiness like Chris Garner did in the film? Is it possible to pursue happiness? In as much as I love the acting of Will Smith as Chris Garner in the film and other peripherals that makes the film a great one; I totally and honestly despise the theme that says you have to pursue happiness. It is an American based culture that the underdog rises from situational issue to a popular stance. This has been preached and exported by the Americans and each time I think about it, I see the harm it is causing as oppose its entertaining posture. It hinders productivity and inactivity amongst men because if you are not in the frame of happiness, creativity and productivity cannot be attained. If you climb the ladder that you believe leads to happiness only to discover its falsehood, you would definitely be sadder than your previous position. Let me use a common example; Shade is 33 years old career banker and unmarried. She believes a man would make her happy or complete her happiness. Her chief goal is therefore project man-hunt. She is sad because her project is not fulfilling her desire. She takes it out on her subordinates by proffering pseudo-strict rules and creates a tension filled atmosphere at workplace which hinders growth. Then by a stroke, she gets her man and gets married. Everyone in the office immediately notices her behavior has changed; she is gentler, kinder and makes jokes. When, she realizes that the man she married is a womanizer. I am sure you do not need me to confirm the fact that she would be sadder as a married woman than a single woman. You can imagine the effect of this higher level of sadness on her subordinates. 

 

 

 This is the issue associated with pursuing happiness; we leave the present moment and totally focus on the future. We fail to understand that future or past is a figment of our imaginations and there is nothing we can do about them except we focus on the present. WHAT STOPS YOU FROM BEING HAPPY NOW? You are not in the kind of job you want to be in? You are not earning as much as you ought to? Your business is not doing as projected? You have not got a job? Your fiancé (e) of 7 years dumped you? You do not have money? All your friends are married? You cannot give your family the kind of life you envision? The list goes on and on but the truth is (not perception) is that you cannot be happy in the future if you do not cultivate the habit of being happy now. Time is a persistent illusion that plays trick on us; it makes us think it is real and under its control. Albert Einstein- winner of the Nobel Prize on his work on relativity of time – said no matter how persistent the illusion of time may be the illusion of past, present and future is still an illusion. You have to understand the way time works in order to master riches and every other thing in life. Time does not exist as an absolute; the only time that exists is NOW. Every other thing is relative to NOW; it is what you do NOW that affects your future and frees you from your past hurts. This illusion that time plays on us is of the mind; we live the memory of the past NOW, we anticipate the future NOW. Whatever you can do is NOW; you can never do things in the past or the future, you can only do it NOW. This is why procrastination is a bad practice because if you say I would do something tomorrow; when the perceived tomorrow comes, you would be doing it NOW. 

 

 

 What does all this tells us? If you want to be happy at a future date, it is just an illusion because you can only be happy NOW. This is why so many wise men that have crossed this earth advise us not to worry about the future; we should live in the moment reality and be happy. Whatever I desire in the future, I should start living it now. Where you are today is because of how you lived your life yesterday so where you are going to be tomorrow is how you live your life NOW. Stop being unhappy at the present to make yourself happy in the future; it does not work that way and it never will. I remember talking to a colleague of mine when I was working at GLO. He sacrifices the quality of his lunch every day because he was building his house which he believes would secure his future shelter and make him ever lastingly happy. He showed me the plan of his bungalow and I told him what he was doing to himself was not sensible. If you sacrifice the quality of your lunch for a bungalow you would end up destroying to build a better house, then you must in the fact know that your taste would definitely change and your economic power would improve and you would have been malnourished because of a temporary goal. I pointed to him that he was one of the best staff in the department and in the next two years, he would be receiving 3 times his salary. All he needed to do was to sow into his work now and he would be able to buy a house without sacrificing his lunch. He actually listened to me and right now he earns 7 times his salary. 

 

 

 The best thing to do when you have a desire is not to be unhappy until the desire is fulfilled. All you need to do is to sow because you can never cheat nature. Almighty God promised that as long as this earth exists, if you do not sow, you can never reap; it is called cause and effect. In order for God not violate this earthly principle in which he promised, God had to sow his own son to achieve more sons. Where ever you are going to be in future, you have to sow now. Farmers know that in order to get a bountiful harvest, you have to sow the right seed to meet the harvest the farmer envisions. The farmer does not become unhappy because it is time to sow; he simply knows the mechanics and principle of his vocation so he is happy at all times. When a graduate does not get a job on time he gets panicky and sad. He fails to understand that those precious periods when he did not have a job was his sowing period because when he gets the job, he would not have time to sow any more. My younger sister is a graduate of Biochemistry and just completed her NYSC recently; she had good grades and came to meet me that she wanted to start an Oracle program. I asked what she wanted to use the Oracle for. She told me she has not got a job for 1 month she had left NYSC and wanted something to fill her unhappy state. I reminded that I have submitted her CVs in some good companies and she should not worry. She needed to prepare for aptitude test and interview until she was called. I told her there was no employer in Nigeria who would be interested if she was Oracle certified or not; all employers would be looking from an entry level personnel if he/she has the aptitude and attitude to handle the entry level task. All this would be proven during her aptitude test and interview. I asked her an aptitude test and interview question which she missed. I asked her all she needed to do was master them and wait patiently until she is called. 

 

 

 

My sister is not the only one panicky about her present situation; so many people are worried that they may not achieve their aim so they become unhappy. If you sow the right seed, you would reap the desired harvest. You do not need to be sad because the harvest has not physically manifested, you need to be happy at all times and stop pursuing happiness. Happiness increases your chance of attracting your desire unlike sadness; it empowers you to be more creative and productive at the same time. Happiness enables you to water the seed you planted in the best way possible. No matter the situation you find yourself, sadness is not the better choice. Let’s enjoy our present moment by being happy; do not fall into the trap of future happiness……   

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About Dipo Tepede

I am a Project Management coach. I specialize in making delegates pass any Project Management certification at first try. I successfully achieve this fit through practical application of the knowledge and integration of our Project Management eLearning school at www.pmtutor.org. Welcome to my world.....