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Giving yourself some credit?

I had some pretty good news recently- I wrote an exam and I did ok.

Quickly I rushed off the emails and texts, sharing my joy with my friends. The message wasn’t quite the archetypal Nigerian text/Email a la- “Come rejoice with me and my family’ etc but close. It went something like-‘Results are out. I’m grateful to God’ etc.

Almost every one I sent it to simply said, ‘oh, thank God’ or something as ‘seeming’- a fellow man/woman’s recognition of the favoured ‘hand’ of Supreme Being in this little woman’s business. I was calm, pleased, grateful that ‘He deemed me fit to have done well’ etc.

Soon I felt a bit mischievous so I sent a similar but more elaborately crafted text to an agnostic friend of mine.

I tried to keep my face straight and waited.

The reaction came as quick and as precise as I thought it would – “You should take some of the credit yourself”.

The drama-queen eyes in me went on the overdrive, willing them to unread the words in front of me. The coordinate inner-voice (which is a nice way of saying I talk to myself, too) screamed “Blasphemy! Irreverence! Sacrilege! (Insert other suitable synonyms!!!)

If you are a member of the Nigerian religious society (automatic membership for Nigerians and most people who live in Nigeria), you’ll know that ‘God’ is the omnibus reason for almost everything that happens- Corruption-induced riches are due to the Glory of God, rigged-in politicians give God the glory, and ‘God is good’ heralds all ‘testimonies’, that could have been averted by better planning. The disadvantage of the office is that ‘God’ also takes the blame for chaos caused by careless driving, legal punishment for wrong done and every riot, flood, or disaster we experience.

I guess it’s easy to feign modesty and ascribe what my friend will consider hard work to an unseen Entity. In fact, it seems win-win: you get off as being humble in a ‘gifted’ way. Like ‘Oh, I really didn’t deserve it but you know We (speaker and God), go way back… then again, I’ve always had his unlisted number’.

Sometimes, understanding God’s ‘intrusion’ in Man’s affairs can be a bit of a trick. For one, unlike the plant that must grow where it’s planted, or the animal that is perceived to be led by its instincts, humans have a choice issue. I use ‘issue’ carefully because choice on its own is a lot of responsibility. Decisions are always harder when you can choose– any woman will agree– the pink-chequered shirt with the white belt or the baby blue one on the deep blue jeans etc. Worse still, choices are based on what we think is right, that is eventually based on what we know or think we know and things around us. Yet, we are stuck with having to decide on our own- when Someone who knows all things can simply make the decision.

Do we always earn our accomplishments? How do we explain cases where doing the right stuff ends up with awful consequences? How do we explain when some people get results so easily while others have to strive for theirs.

I’m not done with understanding a lot of these. There are a few things ‘m sure of- one of them is that all the diligent studying, burning at candles at both ends do pay off, just like in life when you strive in your own way to make a mark. But there times when they don’t matter that you did- when you lit the candle while others were asleep, that you were diligent, that you did all the right things, that you did right by others…

Accidents happen, people will mess up, and sometimes we make it worse with choices to concentrate on the un-needful.

What I know is that my God makes up for those accidents and all, because I asked him to.

Or maybe I’m all just too Nigerian.

P.S:

How did I really feel when I received my friend’s message?

I smiled. I was amused for two reasons-

One, I was right about him.

Two, the credit was barely mine and I am actually very grateful.