About 2 years ago, I was invited to speak in the biannual conference of the Student Christian Movement held in Ife, Osun State. I was very happy about this invitation because my words and thoughts would be exposed to almost every university in Nigeria from Zanfara to Maiduguri down to Cross River State (at least the Christian Body), I wanted to empower my audience with a life-skill that would not be erased from their memory even if they were hit with the worst of amnesia. My strategy was simple; get the audience involved in a discussion section that gets them so hooked (wow) then I would unleash my words. Arriving on the podium that said day and seeing so many students from various back grounds melted my already frugal soul; I could feel the spirit of anticipation as all eyes beckoned towards me to speak.
Every decision one makes in life is very crucial especially the ones on which path to take; whether the broad way or the narrow way. I have written very much on the topic of Decision-making vs. Path-taking in my ever-longest series title SUBSTANCE vs. SHADOW but I am not going to dwell on this topic; I would move to another dimension of path-taking that involves the process that inhibits human specie. Human beings tend to take the perceived easiest route to anything in life; the break-up route is easier for a couple than the staying together especially when faced with challenges, it is easier for a choleric personality to burst in anger when annoyed than to remain calm; it is easier for a football fans to stay glued to the TV for 90 minutes than gist with the wife for 10 minutes, it is easier for a man to give five thousand naira to patronize prostitutes than to give their blood-brother fifty naira, it is easier to spend money than invest (this is based on personality to personality because it also easy for some to invest than spend) and so on.
This is the unfortunate situation that we find ourselves, we tend to move towards the perceived less resistance and avoid the path that truly leads to abundant life. This is surely the greatest error either consciously or unconsciously undertaking by man. Every man celebrated in the world today takes the road less traveled, ventures into the path that mere men fail to venture and thus gets celebrated by the same people that failed to venture the same path. While some are busy with the employment of labour, some are employing labour and at the end, while one is being celebrated, the other is calling the celebrated lucky. “Can you imagine how lucky he is to have bagged that contract†they say but they fail to remember the days of little beginning where the employer of labour was struggling and they were collecting the pittance offered to them by their company. No doubt this is an ensample that should be not taken out of context of my point since every man has a path carved for him by his maker.
In order to find out the characteristic and traits of those who move towards the road less traveled, a simple challenge is always posed to the ignorant fellows that follow the less-resistance route. This latter fellows do not know that which-ever route you follow, you would expend the same energy and time to get to your preferred position but the only difference is that this latter fellow would not get celebrated and his/her name would be wiped out as if he/she never walked the face of the earth. Why do I advocate the high resistance road? Why do I like stress so much? Why am I preaching a path that would not be followed any way even after spending hours to write this article? Before I answer these subtle questions, I would like to pilfer one story from the bible; the story of the Israelite journey from Egypt to Canaan. The journey from Egypt to Canaan (after crossing the red sea) was about 10 days but God did not allow them to go through the easier route (10 days journey) to remove the mentality of Egypt from the Israelites. God showed some principles that are very important;
- Arriving at a new physical destination with an old mentality is as good as being in your old physical destination because one would turn the new physical location to an old one with time of getting to the new. A perfect example is a single matured female striving to get married; if this lady has a mentality of “unhappiness without a partner†before marriage when she gets married she would eventually make the partner unhappy with excessive demands to fill her emotional dysfunctional state. This is one of the greatest issue I have with unemployed graduates who do not want to change their “receiving mentality†where they see their potential employer as a source of wealth and skill acquisition to a “giving mentality†where they contribute to the bottom line of the company through time and excellent skill-set..
- The journey is the reward not the end; the ability to recognize that it is not the perceived end that justifies the means but the process that contributes to the end. It is very easy for youths to short-change process to attain a given end only to realize that the end is not as pleasurable as they thought it was. If an economic disadvantaged person sees an economic independence person, there is a certain level of envy that permeates the economic disadvantaged. What he/she fail to realize is the pressure faced by the this economic advantage guy; the constant fear of insecurity of losing his economical state, the pressure of economic disadvantaged friends, etc
- There is always something to learn; what you learn in the wilderness can never leave you for life. Note I said learn because it is not every individual that goes through the journey that learns anything. It is your choice to learn while going through the road less traveled because the wisdom obtains from this journey is everlasting. When you go through this journey, you should ask yourself what you hope to gain by passing through this route. There are different opinions from females on the decision of the kind of man they want to marry; while some female prefer to marry someone they can grow up with, others prefer the ready-made man. The former choice is the road less traveled and has a lot of challenges but a lot of learning experiences that if adopted (learnt) by the female would make an enriching character but the latter has the headache of constant reminder of who she was when he met her and the man always not sure why the lady married him (may be for his money or not) giving a lot of insecurity and doubt in the relationship.
- Taking the road less traveled as opposed to passing the short-cut builds in you character and amongst this character is the ability to believe in yourself to get things done and to be able to free things and people in your life because you know your progress depends on your ability to free others. This takes me to one the down point of my life when my ever-first love told me she was no longer interested in the relationship which we agreed would lead to marriage. I was very adamant and strong willed; I didn’t want her to go. I pleaded, begged and even devised scheme but her answer was definitely no. After three months of constant begging, I decided to let her go with all my heart. 1 month down the line she ran back to me that she wanted back into the relationship. I was already emotionally confused and messed up and did not want any unstable character in my life so I had to let her go despite my strong attraction for her. This taught me one of the greatest lessons in my life; learn to free people and things in your life so that you may eventually become free. I f I had allowed her to go the time she wanted to, I would have saved myself and her, a lot of heart ache and we may have been together by now (one never knows). I try not to hold on to things and people very seriously so that I can release them. When a matured guy says he wants to do something, I always allow him even if I feel opposed to it because time would always separate the wheat from the chaff. Taking the road less traveled allows you to release people easily so that you may be released to your destiny.
- “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt†– Ex 13: 17. On getting to your dream or whatever you want to accomplish, there are definitely challenges you would encounter when you get there, if you do not take the road that instills in you the skill and strength to overcome such challenges; you would prefer your former state when you get there and you would look for ways to get back to it. If a man wants to get married by all means without going through the road less traveled, he would soon learn that being a bachelor is more preferable than being married. He would then start with infidelity leading to divorce. There are so many married folks wishing they were bachelors and vice versa.Â
Well, this is definitely not the end of this intriguing topic “the road less traveledâ€; I have not even gisted you on what went down in the conference and so many awesome nuggets coming your way in the part 2 of this series. Stay browsed!
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