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Hi Dipo,

 

I have a guy who have asked me to marry him and I have prayed about it, I have a conviction that he is the right person for me, but the problem I have is that I don’t like the way he looks, his dress sense and anytime we are together and am conscious of that fact I just get angry and start snapping at him. After a while a still voice will make me to push aside this thought. Now my questions is with time will I still love him or feel comfortable with him, though I know that physical attraction is not the real basis of choosing a life partner.

 

Miss H. 

 

 

Dear Miss H,

 

I am very glad you are sharing this concern with the team and I want to assure you that you are not alone in this seemingly difficult issue. Bearing, this in mind, I am sure this mail would go a long way to help my fellow female counterpart undergoing the same issue. From your write-up, it’s as if you already know the right choice but you need confirmation to give you a stronger resolve. The following points will broaden your perspective on the issue;

 

1. Appearance: The fact that you are concerned about his appearance is a strong indication that your convictions are positive because God definitely does not view from the appearance. I am sure you must have heard that saying times without number but come to think of it, nothing would attract you to a man you eschew his appearance very much than an inner leaning.

 

2. Help Meet: The only reason for marriage is because there is a need in the man’s life, no wonder God said it is not good for man to be alone so he provided a help meet for him; someone suitable to strengthen his weakness. This why God is asking you to marry him because, you have work to do on him. Since he has problems with his appearance (his weakness), you are expected to revamp the appearance through your trendy taste.

 

3. Open Up: You really need to open up to this man you are expected to marry. It is very important to let him know your concerns so it would be easier for you to transit this apparent issue you have with him. If something is bothering you, it is better to open up with him about it so it could be resolve early than bottle it up for a bomb shell.

 

4. Self Centeredness: Have you ever thought of this man’s opinion about your weakness. He may also be worried about a weakness, he has noticed in you and also be seeking counseling. He may not see you as his ideal wife but he may be trusting God to overcome his hindrances. Marriage is the coming together of two imperfect human being so try and look at it from his own reference frame. This is a good step to eliminating selfishness.

 

5. Faith: You really need to believe that God is in the business of improving lives and he would use you as an instrument to revamp his weakness. Do not support an outsider, to mirror his obvious weakness, in your presence. But with prayer and gentle tutelage, he may be the next P.Diddy in the making.

 

Hope these points were very helpful. As per love, which is simply a feeling that can be resuscitated, it all depends on you to choose to love him. We would be praying along with you as the D day approaches and don’t forget to invite the POeT Team on the wedding day……..

 

 

Oceans of love,

Mercy and Dipo Tepede

For the POeT Team

 

 

 

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