Blog

Is there any difference between a man and a woman? I know my dear readers would laugh at this very question because the difference are very obvious from the physical to the psychological down to the emotional differences but have we really looked deep into this question. Have we really thought deeply to ask ourselves if men and women are so different then why do they seek each others company (when birds of the same feathers flock together), why opposite sex prefer dealing with each other at work, during study, seeking advice, etc (when understanding is the base of every relationship) why do they have serious issues 3 yeas after the joyful and celebrated wedding, wait there! Am I saying because man and woman have the same trait that is causing the issues they experience in their relationship. Well, why not check this counseling section between 2 male and 2 female complaining about their relationships some years down the line.

 

 

 

Wife A:” It’s gotten to a point where I can’t take it anymore. I have got to start thinking of myself. I am totally unhappy as his wife.”

 

Husband B: “After 26 years of no affection, I’ve had it. If just once she would warmly reach over and show an interest in giving me pleasure. I could stick it out.”

 

Wife C: “I just don’t feel alive anymore. Somewhere along the line I died. He thinks the only reason I exist is to supply him with food, sex and clean shirts. I’ve got to break out of this coffin.”

 

Husband D: “I’m not sure why, but life doesn’t mean much anymore. I love my wife but not the same way I used to. The spark just isn’t there. Everything seems so boring. There is got to be more to life than this.”

 

 

A cursory look at these comments may reveal pain by both the husbands and wives. Each of this individual is going through pains and need a solution to fix the pains he/she is going through. A close look may even provide some basic difference between a man and a woman like the men are crying about sexual frustration while the women are craving for relational intimacy. These differences are supported by books like “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” but a deeper look would reveal something else.

 

 

In a relationship were two people are involved, each person is thinking about himself/herself. Each person is accusing the other of the reason for his/her pain. Each of one is very SELFISH. This is why self centeredness is the root of all the comments above and it is the thread that interlocks the similarity between a man and a woman. It is the reason why opposite sex prefers each others company to work, study, etc. It is the evil in us we always fail to acknowledge and it is the reason we blame others for what is basically our fault. It is the only reason why God created the law of “love your neighbors as yourself” because every law hangs on this singular law.

 

 

No matter how good one brands oneself, marriage would always reveal your flaw that’s why the best place to prove your leadership is in Marriage not in an industry or in a voluntary service. Self centeredness is the reason behind every conflict and it is the only reason why we are human. In as much as we read books that tell us men and women are different and we don’t acknowledge and work on our self centered tendency, we would never solve the crisis that befall marriage. Acknowledging the fact that we are different is not the key, knowing we may be causing the circumstances surrounding our relationship/marriage is the master key.

 

 

Since man and woman are both self centered, how do we go about resolving this? The only solution is in acknowledging the self centeredness in us, seeing it for what it is- an ugly bomb that would explode any moment, and ask God to aid us from this inherent sin.