Wow, the Part 1 was actually heated with beautiful and opposing comments that I can’t wait to bring out the part 2. I have learnt a lot from the comments and I am ready to kick off, understanding the depth at which conditioning has actually taken its toll. Why is it difficult for females to open up? Is it instinctive or learned? Are men and women very different in the way they relate? If it is instinctive, could they be conditioned to open up? Why are women scared of the outcome? Questions, questions and questions, well I hope to answer those questions drawing examples from history but before I do this I would love to finish my story on Ade and Shade.
Remember Shade (female) that developed strong feelings for Ade (male). She decided to open up to Ade because the intensity of the feelings was running her mad but something was not quite right with her new decision. She felt she was going off course and everything within her rebelled against it. She wondered if she would be able to carry out this decision but the feeling was tormenting her day and night – she could hardly concentrate at work, during fellowship, while watching film, etc. She decided to make do with the decision and on the normal visiting hour of Ade, she found a book titled “Men and Women, what’s the differenceâ€, on her sofa. She immediately picked it up to read, and was amazed at the sufferings of Christian Married Couples. She was so engrossed with this book that she did not notice Ade come in.
On seeing Ade, she jumped up, greeted and gave Ade gist about the book she just found. Ade was listening with rapt attention so she decide to ask Ade what it felt like for a guy  to ask a woman he feels for out. Ade immediately looked away but was not too quick to hide the tears that welled up his face. He cleaned his face and uttered words that surprised her “I can never ask a girl out againâ€. Shade kept quiet hoping to hear more and her hope was answered. “She deceived me, she showed me all the green light even kissed me but said she did not feel anything for me. She collected all my gifts and allowed me to take her out. I really loved her and she kept on saying we are just good friends. Can you imagine? Good friends, you ladies are very wickedâ€
Shade was totally shocked. She was seeing a new side of Ade (the president of the Prayer sub group) and for the first time, all the intense feelings disappeared and were replaced with empathetic feeling. She wanted to reach to him with a hug because she could see he was really hurting but she restrained herself. She started asking questions about the lady, her name, where he met her and how come he did not tell her about her. He replied all her questions, telling her that she never asked him. She gave him some words of encouragement and prayed with him. She escorted him to the door and bid him farewell with a promise to call. She wondered where all the intense feeling went. She had gotten her answer because she opened up. Ade was hurting from a past encounter with a lady she never knew. The revelation actually changed her feelings for him and she knew that even if the feelings were there, she could never go out with him at this phase of his life.
What a story? Feelings normally change based on revelation. The revelation that, that guy you are feeling for has AIDS. The revelation that that cute girl, you are eyeing, is a prostitute and the bobo you are waiting to ask for your hand in marriage, just had an accident that made him lose his two legs. One comes to find out that most of these feelings are intense but not Godly. The feeling that makes you think about yourself without any consideration for the other person is selfish. Though this may not be apparent to the person having these feelings but that is what it is. You get angry because the guy did not ask you out or did not say what you want to hear. The feelings make you believe you can do nothing without the subject you are feeling for. The only definition for these feelings is called lust. Wow, if I hit you on the spot but that’s what it is. This is why I encourage opening up so that you can be rejected earlier to mature to a new state of being.
Now let’s get to the main topic or should I postpone it so you could digest this story. Ok, check out for PART 3.
