Conditioning is a major hindrance to successful venture and this has been proven time and time without a specific number. Most of this conditioning are agreed by a collective set of people and later disburse by the same collective body or by another wiser collective body that sees the potential barrier of this conditioning. Conditioning is everywhere; it’s actually the mainstream but is it every conditioning that is bad? Not all conditioning are bad in itself but all conditioning hinders success. No wonder clauses like “thinking outside the box†makes you a mega star in your chosen field of accomplishment and all you did were to re-condition your mind set.
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We have been conditioned to believe only men can ask a woman out, only men are allowed drink beer and smoke, at one time only men were allowed to wear a pair of jeans, you must be interviewed wearing a suite (and not just any suite – black, navy blue or grey), you must marry in front of a man in authority (a priest, imam, judge, etc), etc. Well the list goes on and on. The problem with conditioning is that it prevents self awareness which is the major prerequisite to any successful project one undergoes in life. If you are not aware of your potential, your SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat), your purpose, your value, etc you are simply under the influence of a major conditioning. There is no difference between you and that robot programmed by man.
Do I advocate being a social misfit? No, I advocate knowing yourself. Well, before I deviate from the real topic here, let me tell you the reason why I am painstakingly writing this piece. It’s simply because of my dear females and their general beliefs emanating from years of conditioning. A lady has a strong feeling for a guy and waits patiently for the guy to ask him out. Its normal isn’t it? It’s absurd, what the lady has simply done is put her happiness in the hands of a man. If the man feigns ignorance despite her gesticulations and cunning way of expressing her feelings; she is doomed. She worries about it day and night, she wonders what to do, and she seeks advices and eventually prays about it. Wow, it isn’t easy being a female. Let’s turn the table around, if it was a man undergoing the same condition, he may be very shy but he would be forced to ask the girl out eventually. If the lady gives him a negative answer, he is disappointed and lives with it. He knows he has asked the lady and can eventually move on with his life.
To tell the truth, a man undergoes a lot when trying to ask a lady, he has feelings for, out. It’s not easy at all; he has to think of the repercussion of a negative answer and the fact that his tender heart would be shattered. If it goes the positive way, he is overjoyed but if it doesn’t, well I am sure you already know the answer. But there is something good about asking, he eventually gets fulfilled, he is seeing the light, he has eliminated fear and no matter what the answer his; he gets peace from all the agony of ignorance. Let’s move to a different level, feelings are funny and they are subject to change. It would not change until a different mindset is absolved. Let’s take an example;
Ade (a male) and Shade (a female) are friends. Shade sees all the quality of a future husband in Ade and starts to envision Ade as a lover. Before long, Shade develops strong feelings for Ade and his nonchalance attitude starts annoying her. She wonders why he seems not to have the same feelings, and then she concentrates all her energy on him, thinking about him day and night. She becomes hooked and says things like ‘I don’t understand myself, why am I behaving like this?’ She looses concentration all the time and seems as if she is in love. Do you know all this strong feelings can change in just one single moment?
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