September 10, 2015

Choosing from Emotions

Why did I once believe that immigrating to America will automatically make my dreams will come true? Where did this belief come from as the statistics do not support my dream, from the huge divorce rate to gay marriage? Now, the majority of the Republican Party, which I share a huge ideology with , are all riling up for Donald Trump (this is definitely not my dream country). Now, expanding on the latter, it did not take me long to forgive their choice of Donald Trump – it was stemming from the emotions of frustration and anger at their present administration.




Emotions can definitely make you do crazy things. The just concluded HBO miniseries; “Show Me a Hero” expanded on this theme – the people of Yonkers wanted Hank Spallone, out of spite for the  youngest person that ever became the Mayor in America. Just like Donald Trump, Hank Spallone was neither the smarter nor the more qualified candidate, he was simply the loudest and the most bravado when it comes to the issue that concerns the people. This emotional move by people supporting a candidate because of rebellion is not new – George Washington and Adolf Hitler are all leaders of this circumstance.



In the summer of 2013, I found myself lost in a shopping complex in Banjara Hills, Hyderabad. Trying to discover the right route to my apartment, I saw a huge signpost hanging in front of an office. It read; “ARRANGED MARRIAGE – we can help choose a suitable spouse”. I literarily pinched myself to ascertain if it was 2013 or a time machine has transported me back to the 70s. After staying in India for 2 months, I soon realize the ubiquitous nature of such service and it was the surest path to marital bliss. What happened to romantic love? Unfortunately, I gained a new perspective – the data supports “arranged marriage” – it is highly improbable for divorce to happen in “arranged marriage” than marriage founded on romantic love.



Despite the aforementioned data, I still believed in romantic love until the Valentine’s Day of the next year, where I presented my wife of 10years with a rose flower and recited an ode of love. Her reaction and body language told me she was not interested in such gifts. “What do you mean?” Justin Bieber sings acknowledging the confusing romantic nature of the female specie. Well, I was emotionally crushed but I soon regained myself as she tenderly educated me on the types of gift she will appreciate. A month later, I bought her a car for her birthday and the volume of her response finally reversed my paradigm on emotional decisions.



It took me a series of meditation, to realize that emotions itself is rooted in data – our emotional responses are triggered by accumulated knowledge. Imagine a HIV patient living his normal life until he becomes aware of his status – the knowledge he just acquires will dictate his emotional state. Its only in soap operas that you see the rich girl fall in love with the poor boy and I am yet to experience an educated well exposed female marry an uneducated artisan. The Kano law plays out – a customer that was once excited by a product feature, soon sees it as a product design requirement. Can you believe that a camera feature in mobile phones was once a customer delight in the 2005? If emotions is an offshoot of knowledge, then what is wrong in using emotion as a basis of our decision? The answer lies in the question; “If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?”



In other to truly understand the source of knowledge, let me introduces another concept called “intuition”. The Netflix biopic series “NARCOS” demonstrates the difference between intuition and emotions. In episode 7, the outgoing president advised President Cesar Gaviria to always follow his instinct (intuition) but when the outgoing president’s daughter was kidnapped by Pablo Escobar, he changed his tone and threatened President Gaviria to follow his emotions. Intuition is sourced from the inside (the Spirit realm) and it is unadulterated while emotions breeds from the outside and it’s mostly corrupted. There is nothing truly wrong in making decision from the intuition. It is always rooted in the right source – the knowledge that produces the appropriate outcome.



In conclusion, I have experienced firsthand the mistakes made by youths in distinguishing intuition from emotions, especially in life decisions like marriage and career. However, we must be of good cheer because Hebrews 5:14 (NIV) reminds us that solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. My advice – train yourself with “small” everyday intuitive decision to recognize “emotional pulls” before committing to life decisions.


About Dipo Tepede

I am a Project Management coach. I specialize in making delegates pass any Project Management certification at first try. I successfully achieve this fit through practical application of the knowledge and integration of our Project Management eLearning school at Welcome to my world.....